popn' cherries

(Shout out to @_VFTV The Voice for the Voiceless for the feature. Great meeting you and being part of your incredible mission.)

I didn’t know it then, but I do now. Becoming a parent is the most rewarding feeling ever. It’s hard. It’s challenging. It’s mind blowing. I never knew I could love so deep, so unconditionally. Truly, Aerial is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am so very grateful to have been blessed with this incredible and beautiful mini.

She’s my heart. My soul. My everything.

But let’s not forget, that before parent life, relationships, and commitments, we were individuals. Individuals well within our right to be independent and selfish.

For me, I struggle. I struggle with the war… the battle fighting inside of me. Can I be a great mother, a passionate partner, a loyal friend and still fulfill my wildly entrepreneurial ambition? As parents, partners, lovers, and friends, why are we forced to choose? All or nothing? We often feel guilty and inadequate when we teeter more towards one side over the other. Is it because we want to give a 100% every single time? What about balance? Why is there guilt if you’re out there trying to be the best version of yourself, so you too, can serve to be the best version to others?

If I take care of my heart, my soul, my mind, and my body, then I can continue to healthfully give 100% of myself and nourish the bond with, not only my daughter, but also with the relationships all around me. Everyday is different. Priorities may change but my love, values, and ultimate goals do not.

Not many can relate or at least it feels that way. It’s true. I’m odd in that growing up, my dreams did not include picking the perfect white dress, walking down the aisle, having kids, and living in the perfect house with a white picket fence. To me, the dream was being successful in my career, doing something that I was passionate and great at, owning my own business, experiencing new adventures on a whim, and spoiling my mother who sacrificed so much to care for her family.

Regret. I have none. I’m blessed. #lifelessons

These experiences shaped who I am today. And, you can’t control or plan every part of your life. That’s truly the beauty of it. Your unique experiences build your special thumbprint – or lifeprint. But also, who and what happened in the past does not determine who you are in the future. You hold more power in your life than you think. So take control. Make it yours. Make that shit beautiful.

I don’t have all the answers and certainly haven’t figured everything out. All I know is now. Through my own personal challenges, I have identified what my goals and priorities are and how to move forward. It’s quite simple actually:

• Be an incredible, loving, and present mother.
• Rediscover who I am again, heal, love the person I’ve grown, and nurture the person I am becoming.

It may not be moving mountains, but it’s moving pebbles. I’ll get to you, mountain.

Everyone faces their own kind of war, their own kind of battle. We’re all figuring it out and making the best out of the situation. What I hope to convey in this very vulnerable post is that your individuality, your independence, your self-love is important. Feeling guilty about investing in the best possible YOU is simply nuts. Why justify it? It’s a necessity. To me, it’s only insane if you forget about everything and everyone else and never find the path to balance.

I choose not to forget the individual with those outrageous dreams. I choose to be present and a loving mother. I choose to find the how, not to make excuses.

It’s hard. But a good first step.

If it’s worth it and if it means the world to you, make it happen.

“I’d rather attempt to do something great and fail than attempt to do nothing and succeed.” – Robert H. Schuller