popn' cherries

Dear Fear.
You always find a way to stun me.

Dear Perseverance.
You always stop the stun from trying me.

Thank you.

Love,
Courage

– popn’ dance cherries

There’s always fear. That shit never goes away. When I made the decision to pursue this dream, this passion, this love for dance, I thought at some point the nerves would simmer down. Yet somehow, the nerves keep boiling. In fact, it damn gets stronger.

BAM – it hit me. Fear should NEVER go away. If you have reached the point of “OK”, comfort, or better than everyone else in the room, then you are no longer challenged. You have stopped growing, are complacent, and are clearly in the wrong room. It’s time to LEVEL UP. Learn something new.

The key is to become comfortable being uncomfortable. Understanding that trying something new will always present fear. I mean, I get it. The journey is unknown, the outcome is uncertain, everything is risky, and looking like a fool can be a real ball buster. But how do you know anything at all if you don’t at least TRY?

That’s what popn’ dance cherries stands for. To have the courage to try, try, and try again. It’s perseverance.

Since 2017 of pursuing this dance journey, every birthday has been dedicated to doing what I love – dance.

• In 2017, I spent the day at my favorite dance classes, with a simple focus on immersing, losing myself in pure enjoyment.
• In 2018, I spent weeks planning and executing my personal passion project. To bring together a few like-minded dance lovers, create, dance, and share their personal stories of dance. In that year, the goal was important to me – to express gratitude to everyone for the incredible dance journey.
• In 2019, I spent about a month or so mapping out where and how I was going to pop my own dance cherry, with a mission to level up. Not necessarily in the context of just learning to dance better or improving skill, but more importantly, to continue to break through the ugliness of self-doubt.

After months of planning and researching studios, classes, and instructors to take, I finally mapped out where I was going to pop my next dance cherry. I was excited to write and share the experience here.

And then the unexpected happened. I could not practice what I preach.

I was eager and ready to learn, but I did not prepare for the mental fuck of doubt. But, are we ever ready? No. Can you really plan and prepare for it? No. But, what you can do is be aware and have the courage to take a risk. Remember your purpose, be aware of your goal, understand the risk, and dig deep to persevere through what you set to accomplish.

I arrived in Los Angeles, missed 2 dance classes, and passed an opportunity to dance in the spur of the moment with an inspiring artist. Soon after, I realized everything started to become an excuse. “I missed class because I’m on vacation”, “I missed class because I lost track of time”, “I don’t want to book another class because that style isn’t what I’m looking to learn”, “I don’t want to bother the artist. He’s in the zone.”, “I’m not good enough to dance with him”. All of this was complete bullshit. Stunned by fear, I was being a little bitch and didn’t believe in myself. I took it hard. I failed myself. Now what?

Raw truth. Sometimes you have to be told bluntly just how full of shit you are. Not to bash you, but to wake you. To understand the bullshit that you keep feeding yourself is inexcusable.

Remember your passion.
Know your worth.
Stop making excuses.
Just do it.
Believe in yourself.

We all have our strong suit. But, even superheroes have moments of weakness. Reminders and an amazing support system are great, but they’re nothing if you don’t believe in yourself.

A new day. I had a chance to redeem myself, to make ME proud. The plan was to pop my next dance cherry at the well-respected, super famous dance studio, Millennium Dance Complex in Los Angeles. Although it was not with whom I originally planned, this time, however, I was not going to make excuses and let that stop me. I booked the class, gave myself a pep talk, wished myself good luck, and off I went into the blissful LA traffic and onto the studio.

The experience. Like their sign says “Dancing at Millennium Isn’t Easy. Neither is Parking.” No joke, it was definitely harder. But you know what? I loved every single second of it. Huge thanks to the talented instructor, Ajaye Skeene, for the really dope choreography. His personality is infectiously positive, fun, and bold. Instruction was fast-paced, but that’s no surprise. Choreography was amazing. Complex yet hints of simplicity, some hood (yasss!) moves with a twist of pure, playful fun. I loved the simultaneous mental and physical challenge needed to level up. Looking forward to taking his class again.

To persevere through whatever fear and demons of doubt I had, I set small achievable goals but also goals that pushed my limits. For my dance friends and community who ask how I make it happen and how I push through these experiences, here are some things I did recently to combat doubt and plow through. I hope it can help and inspire you.

Tips to pop your dance cherry:

• Set Small Goals Before, During, and After 
  • Book the class, get dressed, drive to the studio
  • Get out of the car, step inside the studio
  • Walk into class (It’s harder than you think)
  • Remind yourself of your purpose
  • Be ready and open to learn (Really, be open to it. You always learn something new from the instructor, dancers, or about yourself.)
  • Don’t give up when things get hard or even too easy, (ie. choreography gets complex, the instruction is taught too fast or maybe even too slow, your confidence is shook up, the music isn’t what you’re feeling, etc.)
  • Respect, listen, hear, see, and learn from the teacher
  • Observe and become inspired by the sea of talent and inspirational dancers (At any level, really. You learn a little something from all.)
  • Recognize your areas of strength and weakness
  • Be proud of your strengths, learn from your weaknesses
  • Adjust your small goals if necessary (For example, at Millennium, I was proud that I was able to keep up with the pace and complexity of the choreography. My weakness, at that particular moment, was my inability to incorporate my own personal style because I was too focused on keeping up. I adjusted my goal to incorporate my own flavor, not for the entire dance, but to one specific move that I felt confident in. And continue to build and do so until I felt confident in more areas of the choreography.)

• Finish
• Reflect
• Identify and Create New Ways to Challenge or Make Yourself Happy

Even through the excuses, self-doubt, failure, self-pity, and the challenge of LA traffic, ALL of it went away once the class was over. I was elated. Happy. Proud.

But, I didn’t have time to let that joy sink in. Immediately, I had to strike it from Millennium Dance to The Playground LA dance studio. Why? I’m insane. I had 27 minutes to get to The Playground LA and it takes roughly 21 minutes to get there… without traffic! But, no surprise, there was traffic. It was going to take 30 minutes to get there. So instead of giving up, all I could do is find the how and try. I knew I was going to be late. Now, it was now a matter of how late. Finally, I get to The Playground LA, park, and run as fast as I could to the studio. Thankfully, they still let me into the class. But, I was 7 minutes late and two 8-counts behind the choreography.

Even rushed, I set small goals to catch up, learn the two 8-counts quickly, and purely enjoy myself in the moment. I visited this studio last year, so this time I wasn’t too nervous. More excited.

I intended to take Shane Bruce’s class again but instead, there were two wonderful sub instructors, Marcquet Hill and Vince Castillo. I had a great time losing myself and just vibin’ with everyone. They did a fantastic job at gauging the class level and adjusted when necessary. Choreography was easier to pick up because of repeated movements and I loved that the movements were intentionally created to be wild and free. You couldn’t help but smile and let go. I scanned the class and saw that everyone was having a good time. Sometimes, that’s all that really matters.

All in all, I had an amazing experience at both Millennium Dance Complex and The Playground dance studios in Los Angeles. Although I did not fulfill all of the goals I originally planned, I am proud of what I achieved and truly learned. This birthday was amazing and I whole-heartedly believe I leveled up. I am excited for more dance adventures, to share these experiences, and even more eager to hear about your own popn’ dance experiences.

Love.

popn’ dance cherries