popn' cherries

I don’t know how and I’m not sure if I’m worthy…

All I know is that I love it, I want to do it forever, and that I yearn to learn more every day.

“Do you teach?”

“Are you an instructor?”

“You should teach.”

When people ask if I teach, I’m beyond flattered. But, when people say that I should teach, I shy away.

Instructor, teacher, motivator, mentor, and coach – these titles come with great respect, appreciation, and responsibility. I take it seriously and certainly don’t take it lightly. Being a student and even being a crazy dance fitness addict like myself is completely different from the alien world of teaching. There are so many ingredients, skill, and mastery that go into the art and methodology of leadership and true inspiration.

When I rediscovered dance as my passion about eleven months ago, my dream was to inspire others to ignite or reignite their love for dance and forever incorporate it back into their lives.

We often use the excuse that we don’t have time to take care of ourselves, to do the things that rejuvenate our mind, body and soul. We’re in a constant cycle believing that there’s not enough time. Truth is, if you want it bad enough and if it’s worth it to you, you’ll find a way. I’m a full-time working mother, entrepreneur, blogger, dream doer, and a unicorn that believes in experiencing a full life with family and friends.

No sugar coating. Balancing it all is damn hard. My skeleton, base, or the foundation of my balancing act always starts with my core values. What comes next isn’t necessarily “easy” but it’s certainly easier when there’s a destination plugged into the GPS. When it comes to dance, for example, all I know for certain is that:

I lost dance once and I choose to never lose it again. – popn’ dance cherries

Again, I’m not sure how…but I’ll find a way. Like GPS, I’ll find a way to “get there”.

Other frequent excuses a lot of us, including myself, use is “I don’t think I’m good enough” or “It’s too hard”. What makes things “hard” is the fear of rejection, heartbreak, and failure. I’m no saint. I’m a recent offender of letting the fear of all three get the best of me.

Very few know, but about eight months ago I auditioned to be a group fitness dance instructor. I was courageous but also scared, insecure, and not ready. I got rejected, failed, and let the heartbreak get the best of me. No joke, for about a week or two, I was depressed about the rejection and didn’t want to do anything…I didn’t even want to dance. I went, but my head wasn’t in it. It was as if “Karl the Fog” was just chillin’ in my head. It didn’t take too long for my love of dance to come back and, man, did the return come back strong. I attended several classes a day, workshops several times a month, and invested in research and “homework”.

To be honest, I was naïve in thinking that my newly found love and passion for dance would be enough to shine through in the audition. Sure, I practiced hard. Sure, I got a few instructor certifications. But, I cheated…I cheated myself. I was impatient and wanted it now. My ambition is both a blessing and a curse. When my eyes are on the prize, I go through the complete cycle but I seek out efficiency. What I am learning is that some things don’t have a shortcut. When it’s worth it and means a lot, you invest, take the time to absorb, and get a 360 view of what it is you’re really trying to learn.

I am doing that now. Despite the rejection, failure, and heartbreak, I am grateful for the experience. It’s challenging me to push beyond my limits and grow. The yearn to continue learning more about dance, performance, fitness, nutrition, community, relationships – the complete art, science, and “religion” a.k.a. holistic dedication behind it all is something I can’t get enough of. I’m hooked.

Fast-forward to now, to this video. A lot of firsts for this moment. popn’ dance cherries, ey? It’s the first time I did a mix of freestyle choreography by listening to the full music (beats, downbeats, lyrics, message) and naturally letting my body guide me in creation. It’s the first time I created choreography in heels. It’s the first time I choreographed, danced, and video recorded myself SOLO. Normally, my inspirational instructors come up with choreography and I follow. Normally, I hear only the beats of the music instead of the message conveyed. Normally, my comfort zone is in my Reebok’s and Converse’s than a pair of sky-high heels. And lastly, if you see video posts of me dancing solo, it’s always done in a group fitness class or in a group setting where I position my camera towards myself.

“Hearing is through ears, but listening is through the mind.” – Unknown

It was odd. When I did this video, I was all by myself in the studio but I was nervous about criticism. I was my own biggest critic. But you know what? I shook out the nerves and said out loud “Fuck it, let’s make something beautiful”.

I popped my own cherry and pushed beyond my mental limits. I am proud of creating this novice-level choreography but, to me, it felt like overcoming a mountain. Thank you for experiencing this journey with me and I hope you enjoy this video. To me, it’s always more than just dance.

❤