popn' cherries

I always feel guilty.

When I go off to work, hang out with friends, dance and workout, brainstorm content for popn’ dance cherries, go on my phone, eat, take a shower, use the bathroom…basically anytime I leave my daughter, even if it’s the next room, I feel guilty. Every moment is precious. She’s growing up every day and I want to soak up every single second. Anyone else feel the same?

“Kim, you’re a mother, now working full-time, building the popn’ dance cherries brand, and still dancing every single day. How do you do it?” This question somehow seems to both compliment and slap me in the face simultaneously. In one aspect, I’m flattered that people are impressed with my balancing act. But on the other, I can’t help but wonder if they, too, are thinking that I’m a bad parent and selfish for not devoting more time. Maybe it’s just my guilty conscience kicking in. Ugh. Usually when that happens, I check myself and say “STFU (Shut the F*ck Up) Kim, you need this.”

The truth is, I NEED to start with myself FIRST before I can be the best version of ME to everyone else.

For years I’ve put everyone’s happiness before my own. Where did that leave me? I was unhappy, depressed, and severely anxious. No joke, I even got hospitalized a few times because my anxiety attacks became so severe. I share this with you not for pity but because I want other mothers, fathers, and even people who aren’t parents to be aware and understand the importance of taking care of yourself – mentally and physically.

Sometimes when you deprioritize your happiness for so long, it’s difficult to recall what makes YOU happy. Take some time to think about this. Seriously, get some alone time and just think. Lead with your heart, be honest, try not to think about anything or anyone else, and just think about what makes you happy and what helps you feel recharged. To be honest, it took me a few tries to figure out what made me happy. Turns out, it was as simple as reflecting back to when I was a fearless kid with big dreams.

“Be who you NEEDED to be when you were younger.” – Unknown

Rediscovering my love for dance was like the “gateway drug” to popn’ dance cherries. I quickly became a dance addict, found out that it made me supremely happy and added absolute value to my life, and committed to never lose it again (God-willing). Now, every day I am working hard to fine-tune this juggling act and live a balanced lifestyle.

Also, who says you can’t be a parent and do it all? It feels like a gamble but I believe that if I dedicate time to nourish my mind and body now for the sake of overall health and wellness, that it will fruition into amazing results that I have set for my family and myself.

“If it’s important to you, you’ll find a way. If it’s not, you’ll find an excuse.” – Unknown

Lastly, another recommendation is to find a few of your favorite words that will help set the direction, priority, and goals for your day. Some of my favorite words that guide my decisions are:

Nourishment: I love this word because when you nourish your mind and body, it allows you to rejuvenate, come back to life, and take on the world with full force. Find those quality things that fuel your mind and body.

Balance: Another favorite word of mine. It applies to everything! Putting yourself first doesn’t mean ALWAYS being selfish. It’s about constantly improving how you balance the things that are of value to you and that are important to your life.

Authenticity: Being unauthentic is like a salesperson coming up to you and robotically explaining the store’s promotions, and convincing you to buy their products. For me, I can see how easy it is to say yes and get sponsored by brands so they can be featured on my blog and social media. BUT, I constantly ask myself, is this popn’ dance cherries? Am I being true to myself and is this what I want to convey to my readers who authentically enjoy popn’ dance cherries? If I have to question it, I will always say no.

Love: Love yourself. Love your partner. Love your family. Love your friends. Love the hardships and successes of this awesome life. It’s not always going to be easy or fun, but how you choose to go forward and live this precious life is in your hands.

Grateful: Often we say we love someone, but actions show different. It saddens me to hear that some people are more courteous to strangers than their loved ones because they are able to be more honest and transparent with them. Be good to the ones that are good to you, appreciate what you have, and start your day with a grateful heart.

Hustle Hard: Enough said.

Ask me if I’m a bad mom, then I’ll tell you yes. I am a bad ass mom making moves, hustling hard, going for my dreams while being the best parent that I can be every single day.

“Just Do It.” – Nike